Today's post is going to be a bit different, I just want to talk about a few changes I've made recently that have led to me being a lot happier. Last night I finally let go of a part of me that I no longer connected myself with but still held on to. I really just wanted to do this post to encourage others to do the same.
Growing up, school and my friends there were a huge part of my life, it was an escape from other things. When I had my spinal fusion surgery last December I left Sixth Form temporarily, it was meant to be temporary anyway. Friends made promises, they'd come see me and text me all the time. At first they did, I talked to them a lot in the first month or two. As the idea of going back to Sixth Form slipped away so did the contact from my friends. I've known for quite a while that I wasn't going back to my Sixth Form and I didn't want to speak to those so called friends any more but part of me still hung on, it is difficult to let go of something that was such a huge part of your life.
Last night though something just clicked, I felt ready to move on and say goodbye to the old me. I had a conversation with a girl from the Sixth Form who used to be my best friend and politely explained that I had no time for people who ignored me for months and then suddenly wanted things to go back to normal. This girl was someone who I had known since I started primary school many years ago so it was pretty difficult to accept that she and others no longer wanted to be there for me any more.
I can't even explain how different I feel waking up this morning though. I feel like I'm ready to have this next operation, recover and move on. Another year out of education doesn't seem so daunting any more, I'm actually looking forward to building up a life again, spending time with those who care and making plans for the future. I don't feel worried about starting my A Levels 2 years later than others or going to college instead of Sixth Form. Something clicked last night, it took a while but things seem so much brighter now. I can move on from everything that's happened during the past year and look to the future for the first time in a long while.
I really want to encourage you to do the same. I don't want to sound really cheesy like a inspirational quote because I don't live my life like that. Just stop wasting your time on people or things that hold you back, don't be scared to let go.
Shona x
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